Stop Yelling!?!?!?

She Said…








Hubby and I take real pride in the fact that we are best of friends. However, lately we've been getting into these silly little arguments. He gets annoyed with me and I get frustrated with him at the drop of a dime. This is even more peculiar, because minutes before these quips, we are joking around and seemingly fine. It literally comes from out of no where.



Generally I am a loud talker. I come from a family of yellers. I admit it. So it's very easy for me to yell a whole conversation and not know that I am doing it. In my house you have to yell to get your point across. This is not an angry yell, it more like a hear me yell. This is equally weird because when I am angry I tend not to yell at all. I think it's starting to get to hubby. After years of marriage and friendship I think he is sick of my yelling (nicely) and just over my communication skills. Also, did I mention that I am extremely opinionated? He calls it "going too hard". I call it, "saying how I feel at the time".



Needless to say I get angry when I see him becoming frustrated with me and he gets frustrated when I "go too hard". It’s become a vicious cycle that has been following us around like a bad stench. We both want it to go away but for some reason we can’t find the root of the problem.



I offered to keep my opinions to myself and speak less, a promise I knew I could not keep. In return he saved the day by reminding me that we love each other. So, since we love each other we are going to be more respectful of each others feelings and be mindful of how we communicate our thoughts. We shook on it and he gave me a little wink to seal the deal. It will all work out; I think things are finally coming up roses.

Love in the Spin Cycle

She Said....

Sometimes my husband drives me crazy. Today I am wearing a shirt he "washed". It stinks! My guess is that he left it in the washing machine for 2 or 3 days, then went back but didn’t care that it smelled like butt and put it in the dyer anyway. Today, I have tried my best to dodge close talking co-workers and leaned against the train car doors so I wouldn't offend anyone with the stench of my shirt. It's not the first time I've gone to work with stinky shirts or (ladies feel my pain) pants. I know he means well.

In the beginning of our relationship I was very attentive and I played Suzie Homemaker (SH). My apartment was always clean when he came over to visit or spend the weekend. After he moved in, I'd like to think that I kept the SH going but Suzie died a horrible death once we got married. Once we moved to New Jersey, we both drew a line in the sand as to what chores we would and would not do. He didn't do bathrooms and I hated washing dishes (we were both traumatized by our parents as children). I hated doing laundry, period. If he was paying attention, he would've noticed that I shopped a lot and barely wore the same clothes more than once. So at first we would trek to the Laundromat, once a week. Then it was more like once a month. In our new town house we have a washer and dyer in the basement. This should've been perfect for me, but I hate going down there by myself. It really freaks me out.

No matter how tired my husband is he will take a load or two down stairs while he writes a 20 page paper or is studying for grad school. Where am I??? Well most of the time I am on the couch watching TV. Sometimes I ask him, "babe do you need help?" as he struggles down the steps with both hands filled with clothes. Sometimes I even roll my eyes when the laundry comes back and a shirt that I really love is now an extra small instead of an extra large. And yes, I even give him advice on how to read labels before he starts the laundry.

But before you start calling me all sorts of names hear me out. I never said I was perfect or that I wasn't lazy. I can get my lazy on like the rest of 'em. I do take my marriage very seriously and I do not for a minute take my husband for granted. I know of two other wives who don’t do laundry either. If he was sick, I would brave those steps and do the laundry. He's cleaned the bathroom for me when I've been sick.

The men and women in our Marriage Group (more on that in a later post) know how far I've come with helping around the house. I know that I have a good man that does right by me and is very domesticated. I just don't like smelling like mildew ass at work! But I guess that's love in the spin cycle.

Make your Money Work for You

She Said....

We are in a recession people! It's on the news, at the water cooler, Obama is talking about it and your spouse is too. The country is broke. As much as I'd like to think my family is worry free each day the mail man arrives with a months worth of reality checks (no pun intended).

In our house we have little tricks that work for us and hey they may work for you. Here is some advice for the common man/woman/couple who's just trying to “make it work”.

1. Buy your produce and meat products at Costco, Sams Club or BJ's. We find that the supermarket jacks up the price of meats and produce. For example a 2lb container of turkey meat at Pathmark costs $8.99 while at Sams club a 4lb container of turkey meat cost $9.99.

2. Stock up on canned and dry goods when they are on sale. Shop Rite’s “can can” sale is one of the most popular sales of this type but other markets have similar sales. Usually a can of corn will run you $1.19 but you can catch it on sale for 5 for $4...stock up.

3. Do the majority of your shopping at Wal-Mart or my favorite place in the whole wide world, Target. We do most of our shopping at Target because they generally have better prices. Great deals on cheeses, crackers, soda, dry goods, kiddie’s snacks and even greeting cards can be found at these larger chains. After you’ve picked up the essentials you can swing by and pick up a Isaac Mizrahi pants for work off the sales rack with the money that you’ve saved.

4. My husband thanks me often for introducing him to the shopping jewels of TJ Maxx and Marshall's. Where else will he be able to pick up his Polo shirts for $29.99. That's a steal considering at Macys the exact shirt is being sold for $69.00.These are great places to shop for designer duds for the whole family. Homegoods and AJ Wright are really good for home furnishings at a great price too.

5. Give yourself a bonus while you shop for the things you need. Our Chase reward cards allows us to earn points towards qualifying purchases made with our Chase Leisure Rewards® Check Card. Also, we earn points by shopping online, over the phone, or when we pay our bills. We earn 4 points for every $1. This week we redeemed our points for gift cards :($35) BP gas , ($25) Applebee's and ($60) Target.

Happy Shopping and don't forget to bring your list.

Why?: Volume 2

He Said....

WTF? As a Dad and husband that's a constant thought in my mind. I mean why does it seem like I'm always busy? I remember asking pops when I was kid, "why don't you sit down?" and he used to say "you don't have something productive to do boy besides asking me stupid questions?" I mean it seems like you're constantly working. Then you get to work to deal with more craziness. In moments like this I reflect on what I used to do; the elements of my past and realize that loneliness was more stressful than doing 2nd grade homework or your wife telling you to do something you've already done. I'm thankful for that. There are folks out there who don't have it. I'm blessed.

"Life must be lived forward but can only be understood backward" ~~The Curious Case of Benjamin Button